On Tuesday, July 2, 2002, I went in to see my OB/GYN for my 38 week appointment. I had a very typical pregnancy. No major concerns, except placenta previa. I had extra ultrasounds to monitor that situation. During this visit, the doctor noticed that I was measuring a little small for being 38 weeks along. He did an ultrasound to measure the baby's size. David was only measuring 31 weeks in size. He thought perhaps the due date was wrong. I knew my due date was correct. We scheduled a visit with a perinatologist for the following day. That evening we got together with friends and prayed. We were very worried something might be wrong with our baby but we really hoped that things would be OK and we would just have a small baby. We contacted our close friends and family and told them to pray.
The next morning Steve, Chrissie and I went to the perinatologist. She did an ultrasound and confirmed the baby's size was unusually small. I asked if perhaps it could just be a small baby, with no other complications. She showed me a growth chart and his size didn't even make the first percentile. They predicted he would be about 3.5 lbs. The doctor explained that it could be a very minor condition (perhaps the umbilical cord wasn't providing enough nourishment) to some kind of fatal genetic disorder. At this point I literally felt like my world fell apart. The glass wall in front of me cracked and all the pieces fell to the ground. What was happening? Everything was supposed to be fine! We had the room all ready and his little clothes all washed. We had his car seat strapped into the car. We were waiting for our little boy to be born any day.
They decided to admit me to the hospital that day at 5:00pm. Steve, Chrissie and I went to the Marmalade Cafe for lunch and walked around the mall to waste time. I went to the grocery store and bought some magazines. Everything felt like going through the motions. This baby we had anticipated with such joy was suddenly a stranger and I was terrified of what I would see when I met him. We were consumed with grief and worry and waiting. The waiting was so hard. Who would this little boy be?
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- Lisa Leonard
- Central Coast, CA, United States
- Thanks for visiting our little corner of the world. I've got two boys, 4 & 6 who love to explore, eat pancakes, build train tracks and be silly. My creative outlet is handmade jewelry. Hope you'll stick around and get to know us!
12 comments:
i can't even imagine what that would have been like... the unknowns. and probably, "why me?" i know when i had my miscarriages, i kept thinking, "why can't i just have a normal pregnancy like every one else gets to have?"
thanks for your story, and i look forward to next thursday to hear more. :)
thank you for being so open and willing to share your experience with all of us! i look forward to the rest of david's story.
I love you Lisa. Thank you so much for sharing his story with us.
Thanks for sharing your story. We never knew anything was amiss during my third pregnancy...not until after Ben was born. I have often wondered what it would have been like to know that something was wrong beforehand. I ask myself if it would have prepared me better for his birth, but I'm not so sure...
I think it was a blessing that we found out so late in the pregnancy. Waiting two days felt like an eternity! I don't know how you can prepare yourself for a situation like this. It's probably easier to deal with when you've got a little baby in your arms.
You are awesome! God has used David, and no doubt many other situations in your life, to form you into exactly who He wants you to be. Your compassion and wisdom have been a blessing to me as your friend, and this story will no doubt bless many others. Praise God! All My Love
I think it's wonderful that you're sharing this story in written form. I can't imagine having to face the unknowns. I look forward to reading the rest of the story!
How scary! I don't know how I would have reacted, and I suppose neither did you. I guess I didn't realize that it wasn't until that late into your pregnancy that you got the idea that something might be amiss. Can't wait for next Thursday. Thanks for being such a great Mommy to David (and Matthias).
Thanks for sharing David's story, Lisa. You were so brave during that time. I learned so much from you!
Oh I wonder too about knowing beforehand. Jim is very dark so SOnny's hair didn't alert us. The midwives didn't pick up on anything either. It was only when he began to have feeding problems and we ended up in hosptial that cdls was mentioned. I think you're right. Once he was there no diagnosis could alter how I felt about him and his homebirth was wonderful so I have that to be grateful for.
I've often wondered how a prenatal diagnosis or hint of trouble would've changed things for us. I go on the thought that God gives it to me when I'm ready to receive it. I can't imagine even 2 days of that worry.
wow I have tears in my eyes... off to read chapter 2.
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