Monday, August 25, 2008

grief and hope.

my grandma is in the hospital and is close to the end. we drove down on saturday to say good-bye. my heart is heavy with anticipating her death.
tears have been flowing easily the last few days. we will miss her so, so much.she is an amazing woman. she loves her daughters, her grandkids and her great grandkids more than anything. And in return we all love her with our whole hearts. she is 93 and has led a good life. she isn't afraid of dying and she has no regrets. she is the kindest most wonderful grandma anyone could have.
she calls david her 'angel boy' and wears a necklace that says 'angel' everyday. she listens and gives good, solid advise. she never complains and is always concerned about inconveniencing others. before i had kids, i took her grocery shopping once a week. afterward we would go out for dinner and talk. i remember crying to her about breaking up with my boyfriend, sharing work frustrations and asking her all kinds of questions about her life.
her faith is solid and she anticipates meeting her Lord soon.
i know i will see her again, but in the meantime i will miss her so much.


Irish Girl said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I'm glad you got to see her before she goes home to Jesus. I remember seeing my grandma shortly before she passed, I was in high school, and it was so hard, but at the same time, it was good to know that she would be in Heaven with my grandpa who she had missed for so many years.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you prepare and deal with her passing.

Chrissie said...

perfectly said, Lisa. And I love the pictures.
We have been so blessed to have such an amazing grandma for so many years.
I love you!

greetingarts said...

I'm so sorry, Lisa. My grandmother passed away a few months ago at the age of 93, too. I didn't get to see her before she left, and there is so much I didn't get to ask her. Take care, and be cheered and comforted by your memories.

Theresa said...

My prayers and sorrow are with you during this time. I remember my grandmothers passing well. It has been 14 years and I still miss her dearly. I am hoping that she will be waiting at the gate for me when it is my turn to pass.

God Bless You

Sandra said...

I'm not religious so I won't say she's in my prayers, but she and you all are in my thoughts....
Your post brought tears to my eyes 'cause it made me think of the death of my's been years since then but I still miss her a lot... I'm sad my future children won't meet her anymore...spent a whole lot of my childhood with her..

anniegirl said...

I hope you find comfort in knowing that the same Arms of Love that will be holding your grandma in heaven will be holding you here.
I'll be praying for you.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that this chapter is closing for you and your family. There will be a wonderful reunion again for all of you.

Pinkalicious said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. She sounds like a wonderful person. I always marvel at the lives our grandparents have lived......what they've seen, endured, etc. It doesn't make the loss any less painful though. I am praying for your grandmother, you and your family.


jewel1018 said...

I wish I had a picture of my grandma's hands. What a beautiful picture!

Brianne said...

I am praying for your family. Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things to go through, and is a time that really tests your faith. I lost my grandpa 6 weeks before I graduated from high school, which was right after I moved in the middle of my senior year. It was soo hard.

Your post is absolutely beautiful, and the pictures perfectly capture what a wonderful person your grandma is. You can just tell by looking at her face that she is a loving, kind woman. You captured beautiful moments of her in those pictures, and now the world can see what a wonderful woman you've been blessed to call grandma for so many years.

I hope that you feel an abundance of God's loving arms wrapped around you and your family in this difficult time.

Teri said...

Oh, Lisa,
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. Such a wonderful lady. Cyber hug for you and the family.

Anonymous said...


Sorry to hear about your Grandma. My Grandma died when I was in my early twenties. I wish I'd had more of an opportunity to get to know her better, to ask her questions about her life and to ask for advice. You are blessed to have known her so long. Thoughts are with you and your family.

Me said...

A beautiful tribute. There is so much to work through at these times even when a life is well-lived and beloved.

SECPumpkin said...

Lisa, I'll be praying for you...I lost my Nanny (only real grandmother I'd known)three years ago this Thanksgiving. I loved her dearly and there wasn't a memory that doesn't include her growing up. She had a stroke during the night after a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with our family. It was a tough time, but I found my hope in the Lord.

Jennifer Lynn said...

My heart is heavy for you and your family. It seems that we lose a legacy when a beloved grandparent goes home to our Lord. I still spill tears missing my Pap, but my dreams have kept me company - especially the one where he was holding my son who was born two years after his passing.

How fortunate that you were able to spend this time with her ... the pictures ... the love. God bless your beautiful grandma, your family and your hearts with the love of His peace.

Denise ~ Paper Ponderings said...

My heart is heavy for you.

katarinas mama said...

What beautiful words for a beautiful woman.

Jenny said...

Beautiful eulogy. What a wonderous thing to have led a life that can be spoken of so magnificently and humbly. I love that last picture of her hands. You will be in my thoughts.

Anna Willett said...

lisa, i am sooo sorry. you are in my thoughts and prayers today. i lost my grandma this past february so i know what you are going through. please know that we are all there with you.
<3 anna

Erin said...

I am so sorry about your Grandma, she sounds like a wonderful woman. My gma is 93 too and slowing down considerably. I would love for her to meet my daughter but she lives in Toronto so we haven't made the trip up there yet. I love your photos of her.

Sugar Plum said...

Oh Lisa, my heart goes out to you. It's so diffcult to say good-bye, but what a wonderful reunion lays ahead as she stands before her Creator and is welcomed home. My hugs always! B

Carolina Mama said...

Prayers for you all right now. You wrote this so beautifully as always.

What a lovely lady. Beautiful too!

Deborah W said...

I hear you...I lost my Gram the same way. We knew she was leaving us and said our goodbyes. Later she quietly slipped away. That was in 2000 and I still miss her, think of her everyday, and appreciate having had her in my life. Your posting was beautiful; love the photos, too, what a wonderful woman you had for a grandma!!

hannah m said...

Grandmas are such special people.

I can see from your words why you love her so, and it is clear that her strength and kindness have influenced who you are today. What a gift.

May happy memories bring you comfort during a difficult time.

Meredith said...

I'm so sorry for your pain. But she sounds like an amazing and wonderful person. So glad you had a good relationship and she had a full life. God bless.

Carol Beth said...

If my grandchild writes something like this as I'm preparing to go Home, I will know my life was lived as I wanted it to be.

God bless your whole family.

Anonymous said...

once again, lisa, thank you for allowing us such openness and heart aches for you and your family...

how blessed you all have been to have and love each other! i will be praying for you all and your strength during this hard time...


Anonymous said...

I just read this article and thought it was beautiful. I love the picture of your Grandmother's hands. Your family is so blessed to have her in your lives for so long and for her to have met your children. So blessed!........

"Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat
feebly on the patio bench. She didn't
move, just sat with her head down
staring at her hands. When I sat down
beside her she didn't acknowledge my
presence and the longer I sat I wondered
if she was OK. Finally, not really wanting
to disturb her but wanting to check on
her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK.

She raised her head and looked at me and
smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,"
she said in a clear strong voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandma,
but you were just sitting here staring at
your hands and I wanted to make sure
you were OK," I explained to her

"Have you ever looked at your hands?"
she asked. "I mean really looked at your
hands?" I slowly opened my hands and
stared down at them. I turned them over,
palms up and then palms down. No, I guess
I had never really looked at my hands as
I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related the following story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands
you have, how they have served you well
throughout your years.

"These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and
weak have been the tools I have used all my
life to reach out and grab and embrace life.
They braced and caught my fall when as a
toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put
food in my mouth and clothes on my back.
As a child my mother taught me to fold
them in prayer. They tied my shoes and
pulled on my boots.

"They held my husband and wiped my
tears when he went off to war. They
have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent!

"They were uneasy and clumsy when
I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated
with my wedding band they showed the
world that I was married and loved someone special.

"They wrote my letters to him and trembled
and shook when I buried my parents and
spouse. They have held my children and
grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and
shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.
They have covered my face, combed my hair,
and washed and cleansed the rest of my body.

"They have been sticky and wet, bent and
broken, dried and raw. And to this day when
not much of anything else of me works real
well these hands hold me up, lay me down,
and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I've
been and the ruggedness of life. But more
importantly it will be these hands that God
will reach out and take when he leads me home.
And with my hands He will lift me to His side
and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again.
God reached out and took my Grandma's hands
and led her home. When my hands are hurt or
sore or when I stroke the face of my children
and husband I think of Grandma. I know she
has been held by the hands of God. And I, too,
want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face."

blessedme said...

Hugs to you and your whole family. My prayers for you are that all of you would know God's peace and his comfort through the loss and hurt.

Megan said...

Oh Lisa,
What a beautiful woman your grandmother is. I will be praying for you and your family. I hope you find great comfort in the memories you have shared with her.

Melissa said...

i'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother, lisa. she looks like a beautiful and kind woman.

my partner tom's grandfather died yesterday, so we too are feeling grief and sadness- i wish you peace.
melissa x

joy said...

lisa, i'm so sorry. it's so hard ushering someone home to Jesus. love you!

Finding Normal said...

I'm so sorry, and you'll all be in my prayers. We lost my husband's grandma a year ago, and she was one of my best friends. I miss her every single day, and I know she'll be waiting to greet me with a great big Patty hug whenever my time is up.

angie said...

Very touching....thoughts & prayers with you & your family.

kristi said...

lovely tribute, Lisa. I just went through the same thing with my 95 yo grandmother a couple of weeks ago, so I empathize. praying for your strength and wishing you peace.

Emily said...

Oh, Lisa.

I'm so sorry to read this.

The title says it all...

I'll be thinking of you.

Catherine Holman said...

I will keep your family in our prayers. Just think how much brighter heaven will be for her presence.

Lou said...

It's a sad, sad fact of life that we all have to face at sometime in our lives, but after the initial grief and months of ache pass, the Eternal Hope in God you have will become a sweet anticipation of that reunion that you long for so much. I have walked this path, 12 years ago. Ma & I will be reunited in Heaven. I speak so fondly of her to my children, that when they meet her too, they will not be strangers! It was a good thing to capture those images of your Grandma - photos to cherish.

Karol said...

I'm so sorry for you. I lost my favorite person in the world, my grandma, a year ago. Life is never the same, but knowing she's receiving her heavenly rewards is comforting. Karol

Lindyp said...

I'm so sorry to hear of the impending loss of your grandma. It really doesn't matter how long we have them - their loss is so painful just the same. You've written a beautiful tribute. And you have the comfort and assurance of knowing just where she's headed.
My beloved mother suffered a massive brain aneurysm on February 10. I was able to see her, but she never regained consciousness - even so, I think she could hear the love and support showered upon her by her family.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family as you travel this road together.
This I do know - you will be together again; in the meantime, may God bless you each of you in the days ahead.

Modest Mousketeer said...

You are very lucky indeed! Thank you for sharing the example this wonderful woman is leaving in her legacy for the rest of us. Blessings for your family at this time as you grieve and celebrate.

Jodi said...


I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. It sounds as though your relationship with her gave you some wonderful memories. Hold on to those when you miss her most. *hugs*

Heidi @ GGIP said...

I'm saddened by your sorrow. She sounds like a most wonderful person, and wonderfully loved as well.

melissa. said...

this was beautiful. your grandmother is blessed to have such a beautiful, loving soul like yours in her life. cherish the memories and keep her stories and spirit alive. she will live in forever in your heart.


Sarah Markley said...

i had no idea. i'm so sorry. thanks for sharing this.

Karen said...

how nice for you to have had so many years with this woman you love so much.
I have very little family and wish I could have had someone like your grandma in my life and the lives of my children.
family. so important.
i'll be thinking of you. smiles,

A Farmer's Wife said...

What a fabulous blessing to have such a woman as your Grandmother! I will keep you in my prayers as you go through this time!

Mommy Toy said...

I'm so sorry Lisa....Your family will be in my prayers.

Melissa. said...

Lisa, I haven't been by the blog for a week or so, but it's beautiful to see where God is moving in your heart! I can see how much you love your grandmother and seeing you love like that is amazing. I know she loves you all so much. I'm grieving with you from Chicago. today was a homesick day and like, 6 of the girls on my floor were all just crying with eachother. It is so good to see God work with sisters in Christ. I love to pray for you and your family. Know it's going on here at Moody.
Remember the Blessings, sister.
Grace and Peace,

michele said...

Your grandma really is such a special lady. I feel blessed to have known the little time I spent with her, her sweetness and beauty was always apparent!

traci said...

i am so sorry to hear about you grandmother. she sounds like a wonderful woman. my thoughts and prayers are with you.

The Smith's said...

I am sorry about your grandmother's passing but so happy to hear that she was a Christian and is home with our Lord. Your photos have inspired me to visit my grandmother this weekend and hopefully take some inspiring photos of her- with a little inspiration from your photos of your grandmother- thank you.

mamalife said...

I am so sorry about your grandmother. She sounds much like my own grandmother who is 92 and I tear up just at the thought of knowing she will not be with us many more years.

Brianna Heldt said...

Oh, Lisa, I'm so sorry.

It has been really inspiring reading about your love for her and who this woman was. It's so neat seeing the special relationship between a grandparent and their grandchild. I'm not particularly close to any of my grandparents, so I love seeing when people are, and I hope my own children will remain close to their grandparents.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

D@nielle said...

sorry to read this news and although it's a bit late I still wanted to give you a big hug !

Denise said...

hmmm. what a gift God has lavished on us in grandmothers.

my g-ma (josefina) raised me, she a treasure to me.

it is so obvious you delight in your grandmother... may God cover you and your family with his grace upon grace and show himself, drawing you nearer to him in this time.

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