when things get stressful and the boys are fussing and I am tired, I take out my frustration on Matty. I don't want to do it. I want to be a patient mommy who never raises her voice or gets grumpy. I want to treasure each moment with my boys and make sure they know how loved and valuable they are. But in the moment, I snap or raise my voice. David seems more helpless so I don't direct it toward him, it's Matty who is on the receiving end. I always feel awful right after and give him a hug and tell him I'm so sorry. But life is imperfect and I am an imperfect mommy. Somehow he seems to bounce back quickly and goes through life with a carefree spirit and loving heart. Thanks for being patient with me, Matty. I love you.
20 comments:
Your words probaby mirror the hearts of every mother out there. You are not alone.
oh, i've been there. the kids seem to get over it faster than my guilt goes away. thank goodness for their unconditional love and their ease of forgiveness.
oh, lisa--i never yell at my kids? HA! did you see my post the other day? oh, lots of yelling that day. selfishly, i like to hear that other moms yell, then i know i'm not alone. you are such a great mommy to your boys and i think God gives our children grace for us. thankfully!
we have all been there! i feel awful after i do it too, but we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves......if we are patient 90% (or 80%!) of the time, we should be congratulated....
Your not alone Lisa, Which mom....or dad for that matter, doesn't get frustrated with their kids ?!!!! It happens to all of us. Mine are 8 and 14 and they understand "when" I get frustrated, as to "why" I get frustrated !!! Did that make sense ??? LOL.
Boy, I think we all do this, and we all regret it afterwards. But Matty doesn't need a perfect mom, cause he's not going to be perfect either. He needs a mom who can show him what to do when he messes up -cause we all do it. : ) And am I sure he knows how loved he is - it even comes through in the pictures you post.
They do forgive us...and I believe we're teaching them that sometimes when emotions get out of hand...we can ask for forgiveness and recieve it graciously...by not being "perfect" we show them that it's okay to make mistakes...
Thanks for being so honest. I enjoy blogs that share both the good and the bad - afterall, that's what life is all about! I'm Matty knows in his own little way, that you don't mean to snap. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. It will teach him to have a thick skin and to be forgiving :)
sounds like we had similar days, only i'm still grumpy!
wow, this brought tears to my eyes. i have been guilty of the same thing...especially in the past couple of months toward my ten year old.
you're wonderful and your kiddos are wonderful.. and there isn't a mommy out there that can claim that she hasn't had a moment like that a time or two (or two thousand..lol). we ALL relate to those moments!!
Something I struggle with frequently....you are not alone. You are also a wonderful, honest Mother. Thank you for posting this!
I second all the great comments before me. I too struggle with that, but always say I'm sorry. I think it's important that they learn mommy can apologize too for something she didn't mean to do. Thanks for sharing this !
Who never yell at the kids??? I would be lying if I raise my hand that I NEVER raise my voice over my older son more than my younger son. I don't have any excuses either. But knowing that we all are human beings, the unconditional love is always open to us.
I am having one of those weeks myself of snapping at my oldest. Just glad to see that I am not the only mom doing it too! Thanks for sharing!
Shelly Primm
Ya, know mom's don't talk about issues like this very often but I really think we should -- it makes all mom's realize that we are human.
Thanks for that reminder. I find when we are living in the hospital I take a lot out on my healthy daughter.
I need to be more aware of my words.
I see read blogs and see pictures of kids and families, and I've always imagined that everyone but me is a perfect Mom, that can sit and play with their kids all day long and just have wonderful tension free days. It makes me feel better that not everyone is picture perfect.
I agree...much as I try, I know I do it too. I think my oldest always gets the short end of the stick because he's the most responsible one. Being a mother is so hard and guilt riddled sometimes, isn't it??
Just know that Happy smile shows that you are doing something right.
haven't we all been there?! it is wonderful that you appolgize to him afterward. i think that teaches him a lot and will be what he remembers instead of you snapping at him or raising your voice.
I think we've all been there.
Today I yelled at Jonny because he opened a bag of animal crackers (I had told him not to because it was dinnertime), and spilled them all over the living room floor. He said he was sorry and calmly helped me pick them up. At the end he handed me the last one, saying "You missed one, Mommy. And you hurt my feelings a little."
Poor little guy.
I felt terrible and apologized for yelling. I wish I were a perfect mommy.
Amazing. That's really all I can say right now. You have no clue what an example that is setting--even to me in college--so thanks for honesty.
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